memory

Cassandras Mysterious Second Chance
A.K.A. Cassie

Though not her registered name with any association, that is the name we gave our girl. Vet said she was around 24 when we got her, all black, star, nothing else, no tattoo, no brand, nothing. She came to us as Cassie from an equine rescue, and we never found out much about her past other than the horrible things that had gone on, and one past owner who loved her dearly. Unfortunately they didn't know much about her when she came to them either, just that they called her "Blackie". They recognized her right away by the white patch on her withers, their son got up on her and had her doing things I'd never seen before.... and I should mention, things Cassie never did again! She made it a point to make sure she didn't too, slow and lazy was what she was about now. But, she was quite the thing in her youth. Her "good" family had used her as a 4-H Reiner/Western Pleasure horse successfully, and they loved her dearly.

The only other past we knew about was the one just before she went to the rescue, apparently not a nice past either. She had been beaten, starved, and was wasting away. I'm honestly glad that I never saw her in that state, it would have been too heartbreaking. When we brought her home, we had HUGE trust issues. We had people telling us that she was the "Horse from Hell.", and to do away with her before we saw how bad she could be. But Cassie never was outright mean to us, I can tell you that anytime (and there were not many) her behavior was out of line, it was our fault, not hers. The first time I rode her, bareback I might add and not a smart choice, she dumped me. Though now we know that it wasn't her fault, we were new to horses and didn't know anything about her background, she was trained for speed and as I slipped, I squeezed harder and harder with my calves, so naturally she went faster. Not her fault. Hmmm, we did lose a thermometer once, never to be found. Turns out she didn't care much for vets, or having her temperature taken. Though after about a year of living with me, who worked with vets and smelled like them regularly, she started getting over it quickly. Yes, she tried to be pushy here and there to see what she could get away with, but what horse doesn't.

None of the people that said she was so horrible took the time to understand her. They didn't realize that she wasn't mean, she was scared. She was NOT a beginners horse and that's what she got stuck with, how we managed to live without killing one another, I will never know. I firmly believe that we helped each other through our trust issues together. Cassandra taught me more lessons than I will ever learn from another horse, she taught me how to take my time and be patient, how to trust unconditionally, she taught me humility (lots of times I might add!), and humor. She taught me how to slow down and watch the beautiful things in life. We would go out on the trails in the Cascades and when we reached a lookout she would just look around and then sigh, take in a couple of big breaths, and then relax to graze. She loved to watch birds in her field and became our geldings "mamma". We've always assumed that Cassie was a Mom many times in her life, and she took EVERYTHING under her wing.... Even the cow! Poor calf, long story short, defective thermometer with VERY high reading (107.0) sick calf, my mother brings the calf of, oh, maybe a month old, into the house, Cassie pushes me through the closed gate, runs to the patio, tries to climb the stairs and get through the sliding glass door to get to HER baby!

We learned quickly to not put calves where she could see them. We made sure to have her off the property when the beef calves left, and we kept her off the property for a couple of hours, she still looked for them. If I slept in the barn for 1 night, I can guarantee she would freak out if I left too. She instantly mothered everything from other horses to the barn cats. I took our newborn son out and showed him to her (she was stalled and peeked over her door), she nuzzled him gently, smelled him LOTS, and nosed my face as if to say "Good Job Mom." One of my last great memories of Cassie was when I was out sitting by our barn, watching her and Santana eat, and she came over all "mother" like, nickered softly to me and nuzzled my cheek gently. She dislocated her hip shortly after that and I had to send her to the other side. I will never forget her quiet nickers of love, her soft muzzle, her smell, and how she was such an important part of my life. She was, and will forever be, the most amazing horse that has ever owned me, and I'm grateful everyday for the opportunity to have her love. She was a few months shy of 32 when she died.

Santana came to us in the winter of 1996 from my Aunt in Arizona. Santana was a show horse and did well from what I understand, obviously when he arrived I had no clue what showing was. Trail riding was my passion and that's about all I did, well, ok, that and chasing a few calves in the pasture while mom yelled at me. Anyway, Santana came to us in winter.... from Arizona.... he was in shock! He showed up during one of the worst winters we had in a long time. I should have listened to my Aunt and waited till spring, but either way, Santana did just fine, never shivered a bit. Santana has 2 foals to his credit, San Y and I believe it's Santanas Siliquie. He was done showing due to an injury and needed a place to retire. Cassie needed a buddy and so we were more than happy to have him. Oh boy were we in for it then. We are just getting comfortable with Cassie after a couple of years and here comes some fancy smancy show horse that truly expected to be pampered to the fullest extent possible! This is a horse that even liked having his gums rubbed, I'm not joking! He got off that trailer and must have thought he was in a bad movie. Though he loved it after the first week, he wasn't sure exactly why we weren't out in the barn all the time and I think he wondered where all the cactus was at. He LOVED the grass and the mud, but the mud puddles NO WAY! He literally tip toed through them whenever he could.

Santana turned out to be a great trail mount, sure footed, and brave... ok, not so much there. But he tried very hard and enjoyed being out all the time. He loved our kids, our neighbors kids, our neighbors, the cats, the dogs, you name it, he loved it! He did very well in retirement, but had a very hard time when we lost Cassie. He never really was right after that, for 2 years we tried this and that, all to no avail. He'd always had a problem pacing up and down fence lines and dropping weight, but then he began to really decline. We consulted with our vet and ruled out possibility after possibility, with no answers. We finally had to make the decision to put Santana down and I really think he was ready. I sometimes wondered if he and Cassie thought they were Mother and Son, they were inseparable. It only seemed right to let him free and to be with Cassie once again. He will always be in our hearts.... Rest in Peace Son, we love you.

Princess was born around 2:30 a.m. on the morning of May 7th. I had just rolled over and checked Buggy on the barn cam and she was just hanging out. I should have known better, she is a quick and quiet mare whose foaling theory is to STOP, DROP, & FOAL!!! Just like that, Princess was born. I had phone calls coming in to let me know she was down and baby was out, all within 5 minutes! Being pregnant myself at the time, I was finding it hard to even stay awake past 7 p.m.

I ran out to the barn and instantly my heart sank. There was the most beautiful foal, perfect in EVERY way, but she was all white. My husband was not far behind me and he stopped dead in his tracks too. We both knew right away, Princess was a Lethal White foal. We immediately turned off the cams and began tending to our new bundle. I called our vet to give her the heads up, and she told us to keep our sprits up, you never know what you have, until we were sure we were going to go right on and treat this like a normal foaling.

Princess got up quickly, found the milk bar right away, and was running in her new surroundings within the first 2 hours. Oh how she gave her mom a run for her money! Buggy had an infatuation with Princesses ears and was constantly nibbling on them, it was too cute! As we stood there, we all noticed how perfect she was, she was so beautiful and the loveliest shade of white I've ever seen. We rolled her more times than I can remember to try and find some kind of pigment, all to no avail. My friend Susan was there with me and stayed as long as she could. I don't think either of us has ever prayed for poop so much in our lives.

Many hours passed and Princess continued to do well, very well, but then it became obvious. She was unable to pass stool and at the first sight of her being uncomfortable the call was made to our vet. She confirmed what we already knew. She is such a wonderful vet, she helped us roll her one last time, looking everywhere for color, but still nothing. It was time. Princess left this world in the same spot she entered, all was peaceful, and she seemed to know what was going on. Some may say it was a needless passing, but we loved her so much for those hours she was with us, and she enjoyed everything from the time she was born, she was full of life. Though her time was short, she taught us all how to love quickly, she looked like all she was missing was her angle wings, and in the end, she had those too.

Don't cry for the horses
That life has set free
A million white horses
Forever to be

Don't cry for the horses
Now in God's hands
As they dance and they prance
To a heavenly band

They were ours as a gift
But never to keep
As they close their eyes
Forever to sleep

Their spirits unbound
On silver wings they fly
A million white horses
Against the blue sky

Look up into heaven
You'll see them above
The horses we lost
The horses we loved

Manes and tails flowing
They Gallop through time
They were never yours
They were never mine

Don't cry for the horses
They will be back someday
When our time has come
They will show us the way

On silver wings they will lift us
To the warmth of the sun
When our life is over
And eternity has begun

We will jump the sun
And dance over the moon
A Ballet of horses and riders
on the winds
to a heavenly tune

Do you hear that soft nicker
Close to your ear?
Don't cry for the horses
Love the ones that are here

Don't cry for the horses
Lift up your sad eyes
Can't you see them
As they fly by?

A million white horses
Free from hunger and pain
Their spirits set free
Until we ride again
By:Brenda Riley-Seymore

I'll Lend You A Foal

I'll lend you for a little while
My grandest foal, He said.
For you to love while she's alive
And mourn for when she's dead.

It may be one or twenty years,
Or days or months, you see.
But will you, till I take her back
Take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
And should her stay be brief
You'll have her treasured memories
As solance for your grief.

I can't promise how long the stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught on earth
That from this special foal you'll learn.

I've looked the wide world over
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes
With trust, I've chosen you.

Now will you give her all your love?
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come
To take her back again?

I know you'll give her tenderness
And love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you've known
You will forever grateful stay.

But should I come and call for her
Much sooner than you planned,
You'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And then you'll understand......

They are special needing little souls
That give more than they take,
But leave behind their tiny hoofprints
on our heart,
To forever trot on past their wake.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN